The real ME

Outwardly, people will see me as someone who is pretty, soft but a boring person. Because I always looked tired, sleepy (due to my medication) I hardly talk to anyone when I meet. Though, I'm an out-going person, my problem is conversing with people. I have a phobia talking to people/friends I meet, afraid I would say the wrong words that will hurt their feeling. What I do is to keep quiet.

Before our argument (my friends and myself), I could easier talk, but now at times when they called me, I have to think twice before I speak. I don't why I'm so afraid to talk. Not to my friends only, but everyone I meet. When relatives or friends' visit us, I don't talk to them, instead I hide in my room and do my work. That's why I don't have friends'

Inwardly, I'm a strong, brave and courageous person. I never give up in whatever I do. Before my sickness, I used go out on the road on my motorised wheelchair alone on the busy road. I only went to nearby my area like to Genaral Hospital for weekly therapy. It was very trilled for me to go on the road by myself. I also went to Gurney Plaza Mall and few other places. It was a freedom for me.

I faced with few accidents while on the way to my destination. I fell dowon the road, I clashed with a motorcycle, my motorised wheelchair battery were flat while on my way back from shopping. These were the few accidents I faced while on the road. Thank God nothing happen to me. This is a great experience for me.

Due to my sickness which lasted for 2 years, I didn't go out by myself at all. Now, I have phobia of going out by myself as afraid that my spasms will attack me anytime. I hardly go out now, only sometimes go out to shopping mall with my family.

Backstreet Boys - It's True