Goodbye 2012

Days, weeks, months passed by without waiting for anyone. Before anyone knows it, it’s the end of 2012 again. While people are happy looking forward for the New Year celebration, my heart is sad because I will be sitting in my room in front of my computer.

Never once in my life have I able to celebrate New Year Eve outside my house with friends. I have accepted my fate to be in my home hearing and seeing the fireworks through my house window.  I treat this occasion as just any normal day.

This year passes by just as usual. Everyday I go to my Janice (my sister) house to help her with the computer work.  I learn many things from her. In the beginning, I thought the work would be very boring.  But it turned out to be really interesting.

Middle of March, we have two days of Boccia competition between Penang and Perak. Even though I’m a BC4 category, but I was place under BC2 because there were no other BC4 players. After two tiring and interesting days, I won a gold medal.

Because my spasm continue to attack my body everyday and certain days it came very severe until I couldn’t do anything the whole day. In April, I decided to seek help from neurology in KL. I found his email address online, so I emailed him. I was really happy when I received his email. He is a Professor. I thought he could help me with my sickness. We correspond through few emails and he asked me to go down KL to see him. I was happy Janice was willing to take me down KL together with mum. Since Denis had meeting, he drove us to University Hospital.

My happiness was short lifted when the Professor told me, he couldn’t help me. He asked me to see my neurology in Penang. My heart sank with disappointment because I went all the way to KL to seek his help and he saw me less than 10mins. I was very sad the whole day.  I even cried in the car, thinking a Professor couldn’t help my sickness. I tried to accept the fate that none of the doctors’ could help me.

At the end April, my good friends gave me some good news, saying his boss wanted to hire me as a part time worker as a content editor for their company. This company provides jobs for disabled at home. I was really happy and excited because this is good company wanted to hire me. 

Before I start my job, my friend taught me how to handle the work. He gave trial work for few day to try for few days. In the beginning of May I start this job. Even though they called it a part time job, but to me it’s a full time job because I worked the whole day and night, 7 days a week. I couldn’t do my job as fast as they wanted but I did my best and took this job very seriously.

But my happiest lasted only 3 months when they (boss) took off my job without my knowledge.  At that moment, I really felt like an idot. People want me to work they hire me, but when they don't want me, they just dumped me. Don’t I get any respect? What I have learnt from the few pass jobs was never put too much trust on people who hire me.  Whatever come and go, take them as a lesson.

Even though, I took up this job yet I still helped Janice with her work. That 3 months really took away every negative things away from my mind. I was happy concentrating on my work instead of thinking of all the bad things.

After my job was taken away, my depression and negative thoughts came back to me again. I tried my best to fight against it.

Beginning of September, my dad contacted with a virus called “ BELL’S PALSY’. He was admitted in the hospital for two days for a complete check-up. Before that, my dad had been feeling very weak.  Now he is down with this sickness and cannot go anywhere or do anything much except rest in his room.

Thinking of my past, dad has been taking me everywhere I wanted to go. Sometime thinking of him, I miss him taking me out. I took my dad for granted that until he is sick than I missed the things he has done for me.

In December I had the most experience taking the Rapid Bus. I’m happy I took this challenge of going out on public transport together with my maid.

This is my experience for this year.  Everything I did, God was behind me,  only that I didn’t see or feel it. Everything I did, I did my very best.  I thank God for helping me through 2012.

For my other my activities, do refer to my other posts’.