God, What Are You Doing In My Life?

Tuesday, 2 May 2022

I'm lying on my bed now thinking of my life. What is God doing in my life? I really cannot understand. I keep thinking and asking God but there's no answer to my question.

What I should do is pray and trust Him?

I pray every day yet when I think of what will happen to mum one day it scares me a lot that no one will help me.

Even though God knows everything and has a plan for me, I'm a human being I feel very scared but I can't do anything except trust in God.

Dear God, please help me to trust in for future.

Clearing House Items

Saturday, 26 Mac 2022

At end of last month, we found a new place to stay on the first floor of our apartment, Janice slowly and patiently started packing our things into boxes at our present place. Sadly, mum and I couldn’t help much

Janice cleared one room by room, the things we want we put into boxes, and others we don’t want we give to recycle. Thank God, we manage to sell some of our furniture We arrange for my darling and Teik and his disabled worker to help us move place.

Until now we cleared almost everything, left some that haven’t cleared yet. Janice has arranged everything with the landlord, the tenant, and the lorry driver. Janice and I have seen the place twice to see what we want and don’t want.

We pray that everything will go well as planned and in order.         

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Grab Drivers

Thursday, 17 March 2022

Since 2019 I had met a lot of grab drivers. All with different races, most of them were men only a few of them were women. Some of them were kind enough to help me, but some didn’t want to help at all. So I had to slowly get into their car myself. Some talk to me inside the car, asking me about my disability. It was quite interesting to face these types of people.

 

 Thursday, 17 March 2022

Today, I book a grab car back home from GH after my OT exercise. I waited at the second entrance of Block A. I called and told him I was in a wheelchair, he said ok. Within 5 minutes he arrived, but couldn’t find me. He waited at another entrance (near Emergency Dept). I lead him the way to where I was. When a black car slowly arrived, I saw he was an elderly Malay man.

When he came out of his car, I ask him to push me down the ramp but he just stand at his car door. I was slightly upset but just kept quiet. Thank God there was a young Malay lady who was sitting by the side chair willing to push me down the ramp and helped me into the car. The driver only stands and watches and he keeps grumbling.

He said he can help male disabled, not females. Did I say in my heart why compare male or female? I just need some help to get into the car. Thank you, God, for the Malay lady quietly helping into the car, without saying a word.

When near to my apartment, I whatapps Janice come down quickly to help me as the driver don’t want to help me.

Most of the grab car Malay drivers would help me get into the car, only a few don’t help me so I slowly get into the car myself.

 

 

Monday, 14 Mac 22’

Last Monday after my dental from Adventist Hosp., I booked a grab car home. The driver was a Chinese hearing-impaired man (this was the second hearing impaired grab driver I have met) When I booked the car, I messaged him I’m a wheelchair user, please assist me. Within minutes he arrived, he was very helpful. He pushed me near his car seat, when I slowly get into the car, I show sign language to him to help my leg into the car and how to flow my wheelchair.

When arrived at my place, he also helped hold my arm and I transfer over my wheelchair. There was a small step before going up the apartment ramp. He pulled my wheelchair up the step and pushed me up the ramp before he leave me

Found a new apartment

Wednesday, 9 March 2022

Found a new apartment

It has been some time since Janice was searching for another place (in our apartment) for mum and me to stay. It’s because our landlord kept raising yearly payment and this place which we have been staying for the past 10 years have many things spoil

There are many vacant units in our apartment, so Janice asked the owners. Some wanted to rent at a higher price and some wanted to sell their apartment. Janice informed and few other neighbors in charge of this apartment to let her know if anyone is shifting out

Since the end of last year, we heard a group of men who are working nearby is renting the first-floor unit. They will be moving out of this apartment in March. 

Two weeks ago, Janice's neighbor (in charge of our apartment) told Janice the first floor men will be shifting out at end of March. So, Janice immediately called the owner and asked her. The owner confirmed with her tenant and she asked to view the house. Two men who were working nearby came to open their door for us.

Janice brought me to view the house their house. The place almost the same, only it's smaller.We took some video of the whole house. After coming back, Janice confirms and pays the deposit to the owner. Janice gives our owner one month notice. They want us to move out at the beginning of April, so we have only a month to clear our things and move out. We have to sell a few of our furniture, so we took picture and I posted them online. Since last week, we cleared some of our things and recycle them. Some of them give to relatives.

This month will be a busy month for us as we slowly clearing our thing to our new house

 

Holiday In KL-Genting 2020

Fri - Sun -31 July - 2 August 2020


Day 1 - 31 July

Around 8 am, my darling together with Teik and family came to fetch me then went for breakfast at Batu Lancang. The tables were all full up with people, but the boss of the shop opened up. After finishing a few tables for us, we went to fetch another two disabled friends from their center.

From there we headed to ĶL, but before the highway, we stop at the Shell station restroom as some of them went to ease themselves. We continue our journey from there. Inside the car, we listen to music while some of them fell asleep.

We had a smooth ride as there were not many cars on the highway. Teik didn't go very fast, just a regular speed.  On the way, we stopped at Tapah rest house as I needed to ease myself. The disabled toilet is not suitable for me to use as there was no railing to hold, so I had to use my bedpan. It took some time for me inside the toilet.

From there we continued our journey with an easy and smooth ride. We arrived in ĶL outskirts around noon. Teik used his GPS to find the way to Kl Plaza (where we are staying). It took him around half an hour to find and reach there. When we arrived outside ĶL Plaza. Teik dropped my darling and me outside the other office and they went to searched for a parking lot. We searched for their office on the 5th floor and found it. There was a lady staff inside, she took my particulars and gave us the key to our apartment. It was on the ninth floor.  After getting our keys, we called Teik and the rest to meet us on the ninth floor. It took some time for us to meet them as we couldn't find them. But at last, we met them.

We searched for our apartment and found it. When we went in, I was amazed it was so big with 3 rooms and 2 toilets. There was a big sitting room and kitchen too. We kept all our bags in our rooms.

It was evening then, and everyone was very hungry. We went down to search for food. On the ground floor, all around were shopping malls. We went out to search for food. There were a lot of people along the pathway, by the side were many restaurants and cafes.

Before I went, Janice told us there was an Indian nasi kandar restaurant which was cheaper, but we went all around the place searching for the shop, yet we couldn't find it. I called Janice for directions to the restaurant and found it. We went quite far before finding it. My darling and Teik packed our food and went back to the apartment to eat.

At night, after dinner we chit-chat. The fun time was Teik brought a very big bag of coins and we all counted. It was so fun together with all of them. During our chatting time, I told darling and Teik that I wanted to sit in the cable car. Darling asked Teik’s 2nd daughter to accompany me. Then we ended that topic.

All of us sleep early that night as everyone was tired of the journey.

 

Day 2 – 1 Aug

 All of us woke up very early that morning. After everyone got ready, we all cooked Maggie Mee for breakfast as there was some utensil in the kitchen.

Around 8.30 am, we headed off to Genting. Teik uses his GPS and follows the way up to Genting.  There were not many cars while we were on the highway and on the way up the road to Genting there are very few cars going up too.

While on the way up he stopped his car but I didn't know why. Then I realise he dropped us at Genting Skyway station. The rest of the group didn't want to follow us. I was really happy and thrilled that I got the chance that I got to sit in the cable car for the first time.

When Ei Ling pushed me inside the station, it was a big place. We took a lift up to the tickets counter. There were many others' too queued up for the tickets. Ei Ling knew the way up as and she the others went up before in our early trips. So it was quite easy and fast for her to buy the tickets for both of us.

 After buying the tickets, she pushed to the cable car station. There were many cable cars bringing people for rides. When some of the cable cars stop, I thought they had to transfer me to the seat, but I was surprised the person in charge pushed me inside the cable car. Inside the cable car was very spacious, so the wheelchair user was very easy to push in. When the door closed, the car moved very smoothly. While the car was moving I could see the view from the top.

It took 10-15 minutes for us to reach to top station, which was on the 7th floor. When it reach the top, my darling, Teik, and the others were waiting for us. When the door opened, my darling pushed me out. I had a nice feeling even though it was a short time up in the cable car.

From there, we took a walk around the place, and then we went to Marrybrown fast food restaurant on the 4th floor for a late break. From there we adjourned to the 2nd floor, where the Skypool Indoors Park was.

Teik queued up to buy tickets for his daughters and 2 other disabled friends to play the game.  There were lots of young people queuing up to go in there too. From there we adjourned outside the casino. There were lots of people queueing up to go into the casino. Teik went in together with those people.

 Since my darling and I saw so many go in, we decided not to go due to Covid 19.  What we did was walk around the place and see them playing. Even though I couldn't play all the trilling games, seeing those people play was very fun enough.

Around 3.30 pm, Teik meet us back at the same place where were. His daughters also meet us as they only played a few games. Other games were full of people. As we were feeling hungry, we went to the 4th-floor food court to fill our stomachs.

We came down from Genting around 5.30 pm, then we went to ĶL Jusco Supermarket to buy dinner back. It was very sad to see the whole supermarket shops were closed and the place were so empty due to MCO 1. There were only a few shops that were opened. We saw there were sushi packets so we bought some of them back to the apartment to eat. All of us had a good time. I felt enjoyed my day, at the same time felt very tired.

 

Day 3 – 2 Aug

On our last morning at the apartment, we cooked Maggi mee again as it was difficult to find breakfast outside. We packed our bags and check out from the apartment around 9 something. Darling pushed me to the 5th-floor office and returned the room keys. We checked out early that morning because we wanted to go to Ipoh Supermarket.

As my darling accompany Teik to drive his car to the KL Plaza entrance. We waited with all our bags for quite a long. During our waiting time, I was looking at the people who walked along the pathway. At last, Teik arrived at the entrance. Darling told us that they were checking his car.

We left ĶL town around 10.15 am. There were not many cars on the highway, we have a smooth drive. we arrived in Ipoh town at 1.15 pm, and straight to buy the famous Salty Chicken, biscuits and other stuff.

In that area, there were lots of coffee shops. Most of the time, we had difficulty finding a parking space. Luckily we found a parking lot.

As it was lunchtime and there were many people inside the coffee shop. Luckily we found a table and we ordered our food. After lunch, we went to Jusco Ipoh Supermarket. It was a big shopping mall with a lot of shops and restaurants. There were a lot of people shopping and having lunch.

We straight went into the supermarket and check out what wanted to buy. We bought quite a lot of things. From there, we headed back to Penang. 

It was evening when we arrived in Penang. Teik dropped me home first before dropping the rest. It was a fun and enjoyable weekend.

Walking into the bathroom

Thursday, 17 February 2022

Every morning when mum helped me to walk in and out to the bathroom which is only a short distance for bathing and toileting. I always pray to God for strength and protection for mum and me from any falls

Walking in is easier than walking out. It’s because the bathroom floor is more slippery. When both of us are walking out, I keep praying while walking until I sit in my wheelchair then I thank Him for protecting us.

Home Alone

Wednesday, 16 February 2022

This morning as I was alone at home when Janice dropped mum for dental at Adventist Hospital and did some errands. I did my usual things in my room eg: did some hands exercises and checked what I did online.

I felt peaceful being alone at home, but on the other hand, emotionally I felt very frustrated, angry, etc.

When the time I need to ease myself, I always call mum for help when she is at home. But today I was alone, so I thought of what to do either to sit on my wheelchair and use my bedpan or lie down. So I decided to lie down to ease myself.

Before I transfer myself to my bed, I prayed to God to help me and give the strength and protect me from any fall. When I transferred myself, I kept praying for help. When I sat on my bed and lie down I continued to pray to lift up my legs onto my bed. When I was on my bed, I thank Him that He protected me from any fall. I felt very tired just to transfer as I lack of strength, but I continue to pray He would help until I finish eased myself.

I thank Him after I finished everything. It was very tiring when I struggled to bed to ease myself, but God lighten my difficulties when I prayed to Him.

 

Update on 2021

Wednesday, 26 January 2022

It has been almost 8 months since my last write-up. My poor blog was empty since July 2021

My mind was blank on what to write and at the same time my mood was really down. So I put my writing aside.

In February, it was the second time we were not able to celebrate Chinese New Year as it was MCO 2.0. The first time was 2020 due to Julie passing away.  

On the eve of Chinese New Year, mum and I went to Janice house to have a reunion lunch together with her in-laws.

On Chinese New Day, Janice and her family came to our place to wished us and gave me Ang Pow. Of all the years, 2021 was a very quiet CNY as there was no visitation allowed and I got the least Ang Pow. I also couldn’t go outstation with my friends as the inter-states travel was closed. It was very boring staying at home as every CNY I would go outstation with my daring and friends’

From May –October -MCO 3.0 (Lockdown) started again. It was a terrible time for me as where I couldn’t go anywhere. I was in my room the whole day.  Where I could go was to the eating table (breakfast, lunch and dinner) then back to my room again.

I occupied myself upon doing other thing eg:  choose, arranged, took photos of the First Day Cover and stamps and posted them on Carousell Online. It took a lot of my time in doing that. At night I watched Netflix movies.

Even though I did so many things the whole day, emotionally I felt down and don’t have mood. I couldn’t even go for therapy or my check-ups in GH. The psychiatrist doctor called Janice to collect my medicine and changed the date of my check-up to later dates.

At the end of July and the beginning of August, I received my Pfizer vaccination. Before I went for my jab, I prayed that there would not be any side-effect on me. Thank God, my left arm which was vaccinated had some pain for 2 days only.

For Neuro check-ups, I hardly go to see the doctors. Janice will call the nurses when I wanted to follow up with my medication. The doctors’ would write a chit of all medicines and Janice would collect them. The doctors in the Neuro Department doctors’ were unable to do anything with my spasm. So what I do every day is to take a bunch of spasm, thyroid, and depression medicine 4 times a day (mostly are my spasm medicine)

As for my thyroid check-ups, I only went to the Endocrinologist Department the first 2 times. After knowing that I need not have to see a doctor, and knowing that they wanted to see my blood test results. The nurses would give me a chit to do a blood test every four months. Two weeks before my check-up date Janice will bring me to the blood test lab.

When I go for my blood test, the nurses would allow wheelchair users to go into the lab first. For able-bodies, they have to queue up for their number to go in. On my check-up day, the nurse will call Janice to collect the medicine chit. If nothing is wrong with my blood, the doctor will continue to give me medication only. I will have to take it forever.

The only thing I hated most about thyroid is I gain weight. I now put on weight quite a lot as some t-shirts and dresses couldn’t fit me anymore. Many times, I feel angry with my thyroid sickness.

I couldn’t meet darling for five months during the lockdown. He was also unable to work during that period. I missed him a lot.

After the Covid cases went down and the lockdown was opened in October, I went to Occupied Therapy and Physiotherapy again in GH. Spastic Centre was re-opened as everyone in the group has been vaccinated. So we went there for our therapy again.  

It was the first time after a year since I last went to Gurney Plaza. On my birthday in December Janice took me for a lunch treat and shopping together with mum and my niece Sherine. She came back from Singapore for a few weeks' holidays.

I had a nice time on that day as we had western food on the ground floor. After lunch, Janice brought me shopping to buy some items. After buying our stuff mostly at Mr. DIY, we went down to the ground floor. We saw beautiful Christmas decorations and took photos there. There were a lot of people who took photos too. The decorations were much more beautiful than the year before.

It has two years since Covid-19 started as Christmas was not like before. Our church group members’ were not able to come carolling anymore. We also didn’t put up our Christmas tree anymore. It wasn’t fun like last time with all the presents’ below our Christmas tree and my three nieces were together Julie around to open up all our presents’ after dinner.

To me there was no feeling of Christmas season, but just like regular day. But on Christmas eve, mum and I went to Janice's house for dinner together with her in-laws.

Life has complete change since Covid-19 started. This was what happened in 2021