My baby, I have abandoned you again.
I feel this year has been terrible and miserable year. I feel so lost, unhappy, confuse, frustrated depress, useless. I really do not know what to do with life.What I know is I feel my heart is so down everyday throughout this ten months. It's so hard to put a smile on my face.There is no joy in my heart.
Everyday for past ten months, I keep searching for a job. I need a job and income to help my family. I also need it to occupied my time. Yet till today, I couldn't find one. I feel so useless
Early this year, I asked a disabled friend of mine, can the press help me to find a job? He told me I could have a try in writing in. I wrote in The Star and New Straits Times paper column page. I was happy that New Straits Time published my story, but no one approached me with an job. My story (article) was like a write up for public to read. First failure.
In March, I try an online job - data key in. I paid the company in advance. The job scope was very interesting, After they send me the work, I did the work for two months. I kept emailing them, but received no reply from them. After two month, I didn't receive any payment from them. I knew then I was cheated. That was a lesson for me. Second failure,
I think of ways on how to find a decent job, yet i failed.
In July I made the final decision, I called the The Star paper office, the staff put my call with the chief of reporter. I told him i'm disabled who in need of a job. He took my contact number . Less than two hours , a reporter name Arnord called me. I was so happy he wanted to interview me. Within half an hour Arnord l and another camera man, named Gary interviewed me. I talked to them for more than half an hour. Gary took some pictures of Julie and myself.
I was surprised and happy that my story came out the next day, with a big article on it. I was happy and excited that a lady from KL emailed Ai Na (a friend of mine). Ms. Dee Dee from KL willing to offer me a job as a"Project Coordinate" and an accommadation. A kind hearted man (Jimmy) willing to offer me monthly cash for six month. I was really happy public respond to my pleaque.
The next day, my article came out again in a small column saying few people respond to my article. My email address was published in the paper.
Few people emailed me offering me job. a few from KL and one from Penang . Others' offered me donation. They banked into my account. I was really happy that week.
I thought good things is coming my way as I got job offers. Nevertheless the job and accommadation in KL didn't suit me as I need a helper, but we have difficulty finding one. Another job opening in Batu Maung, Penang. The problem is I don't have transport and the work is too long hours.
At last, my happiest turns into sadness. What I gain turn to nothing - back to square one.
What I wish, hope and plan wasn't God's will. God has His own plan for me.
