Goodbye 2010

365 days has just gone by in an eclipse of an eye. Before we knew it, it the last day of 2010. I thank God this year has passed by so fast because I can say this is not a good year for me.

In February –March, I had a taste of Independent Living for one month in Kepong, Kuala Lumpur. Even though I faced a tough time there, but I felt good as I had small room to myself and good and caring disabled friends who helped me in many ways. I tried my best to fight and not o give up, but my body was too tired and gave way. Because I had a doctor appointment, I came back and I told myself I will go back there again.

Because I overstrained myself in Kuala Lumpur and also due to the new medication the doctor gave me, I was terribly sick for one and a half month. I couldn’t move my limbs neigher could I lifted up my head. My neck was so soft that my parents’ had to tie my head to head rest. It was the most frustrating and depressing time I ever felt. My spasm attacked me every night without fail and I couldn’t sleep. My parents struggled with me. No one knew the terrible time I had gone through except God. Slowly, I recovered. I thank God for helping me to pull through.

I faced another disappointment. In May there was a Boccia tournament in Kuala Lumpur. Because I was sick and couldn’t go for training, I had to let go one tournament.

I thought of going back to Kuala Lumpur, but my parents’ wouldn’t allow me as they were afraid I would overstrain myself again. That was the end of my Kuala Lumpur life. No one would never know how much I missed my life there

You would surely be wondering why I never write about my friends lately. It was because we had some problems and I got hurt in many ways. I had offended one of my friends’ feelings and she got terribly mad at me. Because of that some other problems arise between me and my other friends. I was mad and was deeply hurt that I couldn’t bring myself to talk to them. I never realize this would happen after 30 years of friendship. Until today, the hurt is still with me. No one would understand my feelings except God. I wonder will we be able to talk again like before?

Let me give you some bright side of my life. In August God gave me a job in Joblink Centre (a shelter workshop). There are altogether nearly 50 mentally challenge young adults. In the beginning I wasn’t keen to take up the job as I have no experience about mentally challenge disabled. But I told my boss I would give it a try. After working with them for few weeks, I felt they are very loveable, happy and very discipline young people.

My position is a supervisor taking care and working together with a group of them consists of five to six of them. All the work are sub-contract work from factory/companies. It’s not an easy job because I have to control, push, scold and shout at them to do their job. It’s interesting to know each of their character and attitude. It wasn’t easy to work as my spasm attacked me quite often, but I thank God I manage it through everyday. I’m happy my work give me the chance to meet more people and see the life of the mentally challenge disabled friends.

I was happy my Japan story was published in Challenges Magazine in September issue. I was also happy me and my family get to watch Air Supply live concert in PISA, Penang.

In November , I went to Melacca for Paralimpiad (boccia tournement). We stayed in University Teknologi Malaysia for a week. I didn't play that good as my body wasn't feeling well and my spasm attacked. So, what I got was only bronze medal.

What I could see that 2010 wasn’t a good year for me. Other than my work, I’m always alone in my computer room listening to music. Even though there are some peace but the loneliness was within me. Sometime I kept thinking and thinking, mostly are negative thought.

The most important is my family and my boyfriend is there for me. I’m so relief that T.L. is with me in time of my trouble, advising, comfort and encouraged me to think positive. I really thank God for them in my life.

I have no desire to make any new resolution for 2011, but will try to think positive and accept one day at the time.

This is my last post for this year. I enjoy writing and thank you for reading my stories.

Happy New Year 2011.

Comment

Dear Readers, Thank you for following my life story. I'm sorry that I share so much of my sad stories all these while because that is what I have gone through. And it's my true feeling.

I will like it if you give me more comments so that I can know you are following my stories. And also give me some inspiration.

Thank you again.

My special day

My nieces Cherylene, Sherine and sister Julie

Me and my family

Me and small little cake

Friday 10th December was my special day, but it was like a normal day. I wasn’t that happy this year because I didn’t celebrate any of my friends’. Earlier on Sunday, my boyfriend took me out to celebrate with me. He gave me a simple gift that was enough for me.

On Wednesday 8 December, my family took me to lunch at Little Cottage (outside our house). Since it was a weekday, there was no buffet so we had 5 course set lunch. It was good to birthdays’ gathering. On my real day, Janice bought me some cakes and my family sang birthday song. At night there was a Christmas party in my centre. At least I could say I was happy that few hours dancing with my wheelchair and enjoyed the music.

The reason I wasn’t happy on my birthday was every year I have my good friends to celebrate with. But this year is completely different, I didn’t celebrate with any of them due to some problems arise months ago. Some of my family members and friends send me birthday messages. So my birthday was just a usual working day without any of the staff knew it.

I can say this birthday was nothing special. I thank God for one thing that He gave me another birthday this year. And I thank Him for giving me family who love and celebrate my birthday every year.

Paralimpiad in Melacca -2010

My 3rd medal since 2006

Penang Team

Only 3rd place -bronze medal

Medal giving

Me and another opponent (and friend) Arasu from Perak

Me and my opponent from Selangor

This year Paralimpiad Malaysia was held in Melaka from 19-26 November 2010.

Our Penang Boccia Team consists of five members. It took 8 hours drive by van to reach Melaka. All the wheelchairs' athetic stayed in University Teknologi Malaysia (Bandaraya Melaka). The rest of atletic who can walk stayed in the same University but in another place one and half hour drive from the University we stay.

The University we stayed in was apartment style with three rooms. We stayed on the 4th floor. My mum and I together with another friend and her maid took the master room with toilet/bathroom inside our room. It was really comfortable place compare to the previous University we stayed in 2 years ago.

Our game started from 22-24 November, There were five states competing -Selangor, Wilayah Persekutuan, Johor, Perak and Penang. On the fews day of our tournement we had to wake up at 4am as we had to take turns to bath and toileting. It takes time for us to get ready. Breakfast was at 5.45am. We had to wait for the Rapid Bus by 7am. Because we had to reach the Stadium by 8am, there were two police man escorting our two buses to the Stadium. We reached there around half and hour, if not it would take us a longer time to reach the Stadium due to the traffic jam.

It was very hectic on the first two days of our tournement as there were many groups competing among each other. My game was only on the first day as I only challenge with Perak and Selangor. On the third day was the final game and the presentation was in the afternoon. I felt slightly disappointed as I only got bronze this year. I tried my best to play well, but it wasn't good enough. I had my spasm (muscle pull) on my competition day that's why I couldn't play well. Overall, Selangor was the the winner.

I played my best, but what I got was the last place. I will never give up playing Boccia. I will my best try to get into international. That's what I'm looking forward to play with other contries. God please give me this chance.