Sunday, June 13, 2010

My Fight

Everyday I occupied my time doing many things, yet when I’m sitting in front of my computer and listen to love songs. I feel my life is very empty and I’m sad. I feel lost as I don’t know where I’m heading.

I’m tore between Penang and KL. I can feel my body is here, but spiritually I’m in KL. Everyday I’m thinking of the daily activities and I missed all my friends there. Why do struggle with this feeling everyday? I hate this feeling.

If I’m independent enough, I will take a cab to the airport. Take a flight back to KL and take a cab to my centre. This is my real feeling. Am I crazy thinking of this? I can’t imagine myself, as I had gone through so much difficulties yet I want to go back there. Am I stupid? There are many questions in my mind everyday.

The main reason why I wanted to go back to my Kepong centre is all my friends are very positive thinking and can get the freedom to do what we like. The things which are difficult to handle, they will think of ways to help us and give positive advice. Not like my family members and friends here, they are all very negative and discouraging. It’s not easy to change their mind unless I fight my way through, then I can get a positive life.

I have to fight very hard to get my independence and freedom, if not I will only be trap in my own home.

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