A great time in KL/Genting

Recently, my darling, myself and friends went to Kuala Lumpur/Genting Highlands for 3 day and 2 nights. We started our journey around 9 something on 10 June. We had a smooth ride as there were not many cars on the highway. We stopped at the rest house once. There was a disabled toilet, but when I went I was shocked to see the toilet had no railings or bars to hold. I tried my best to do my toileting. I said to myself "what a lousy disabled toilet?" We continue our journey and arrived in KL town around 2pm. Because KL highway has many routes. We lost our way few times as we turned into few wrong roads  It's took us more than an hour to reach our hotel.

Everyone of us were relief when we reached our destination. We checked in hotel around 3.30pm. Later we went for lunch opposite Jusco hyperrmarket. It's around 5mins drive away from our hotel. After lunch, we went groceries shopping. We bought a lot of food stuff back to the hotel and walked around to see there were so many shops and stores in the mall. There were a lot of people specially Muslim doing last minute shopping for their Malay New Year. 

We headed back to the hotel to bath and rest. The whole evening we stayed in the hotel, ate what we bought in the room.Everyone was chit-chatting and had a great time together. For me, as a quiet person, I listen to them talking and had fun. 

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Day 2

Genting Highlands, here we come!!! My favourite place!! I have not been there for nearly 2 years. I missed this place so much!  It was very nice and cooling place to stay in. There are many entertain outlets for young and old. 

We all got ready and headed for Genting around 11 something. It was a smooth ride all the way up.

We reached and checked into a free complimentary room which few of my friends and myself are members' of Genting World Resort. As one of my friend's is a disabled, the counter staff gave us a disabled room.

Wow!!! the disabled room was very big and spaces with sofa, couch and a big disabled toilet equip with bars and railings. The bathing side has a sitting place for disabled. After settled down in the room, all of us went out to checked out the place. Some of us went different place. Few friends and myself went to see the places and almost got lost. As Genting renovated the place for last few years into a bigger and beautiful place.  The place changed a lot, we went round and round to see the new place.  

My friends wanted to checked our members card, but was really hard to find the counter. They had changed places, but at last we found it. There were many people queing up at the counter either to apply new membership cards of change new card. My friend's and myself change our membership  card.

We were there only few hours as a friend of ours' had to dropped few of us back KL hotel. We started our journey around 4.30pm and reached KL town half hour later. It was really unbelievable as we were stuck in a terrible traffic jam in KL town for around 4 hours. We reached the hotel about 9.30pm. We were all relief upon reaching as we were very hungry and our bodies ached.

Upon reaching the hotel lift, we were shocked the lift was spoiled. We couldn't do anything, so we went over to the Indian coffee shop next door to the hotel and had our dinner. Then, we went to Jusco to buy few things. Luckily, my friend took us there. I urgently needed to find a toilet, luckily there was a disabled toilet. Thank God for that!!! I was so glad to relief myself.

After bought our things, we went back to the hotel. We faced a big problem when we went back to the hotel. No one came to repaired the lift!!! My goodness, they had to carry up to the 2nd floor!!! Two of the hotel workers and my darling carried me. I was so terrible scared while they carried me. My heart nearly fell off and I couldn't breath as the fright was there. At last thank God we reached 2nd floor. 

My friends who was supposed to go back to Genting was unable to back there as it was too late to drive back. They slept in the hotel.

Everyone was very tired, got ready and went to bed very fast

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Day 3

We woke up early and got ready checked out from the hotel. We checked out from KL hotel and headed up to Genting around 9.30am. Some of them brought breakfast up to Genting to eat in the hotel room. Without much traffic, we took one and half hour to reach Genting. It was quite fast.

We straight went to our room, some had breakfast and showered themselves. Most of us enjoyed each other company talking and laughing.

After all got ready, we checked out from the room. We went round the see the places. Some of them went to played some game. I enjoyed myself very much as when we went around and see the nice places with loud music and a lot of people. There were many entertainment places for children, youngsters and adults.

The time has come for us to go back. We took off around 4.30pm, drove slowly on the highway. Thank God there were not much traffic jam all the way. Some of us fell asleep in the car. We stopped in Ipoh town (Perak) for dinner in a coffee shop. In that area, there were many eating places with a lot of people. There were several shops, stalls selling a lot of things.

It was night then, we slowly drove as there were many cars on the highway. We reached Penang 11pm over and dropped few of my friends before dropped me. I reached home home nearly 12am.

All of us had a enjoyable time. I had a great time with my friends. Though there were few difficult times, we all took it cool and calm. 

Depression difficult to cope

In early 2017, I started going back to GH Physiatrist after I stopped my treatmemt for few years. My depression got worst and my spasm attacked me severely in 2016 and 2017. Neurologies doctors' told me it was connected to my emotion. That was why after I increased my spasm medicine, yet my spasm attacked me severely.  

It felt really terrible after I stopped my depression medicine.. I never knew my emotion feelings so horrible. I felt like going mad.

After what the Neurologies doctors' told me, I went back to Physiatrist department. The doctors' asked me why I stopped coming, I told them the medication didn't suit me. From that time onwards, they changed my medicine.

At the beginning of last year, the doctors' gave me one tablet. My mood was slightly better, but I kept thinking the past that people hurt me. Also many other incidents. This make me very unhappy.

This medicine also calm my mood. When I stopped the medicine last few years, I easily get angry, irritated, frustrated and many other different feelings.

Starting this year, they asked me how I feel, I kept sharing with them my negative thoughts and feelings. Because of that, doctor increased my medicine to 2 tablets. My appointment with to see doctor is mostly every two months. Early this month when I see the doctor, I shared with them my negative thoughts and feelings quite the same  feelings as before. Again the doctor increased my medicine to 3 tables.

 I felt very sad as I wasn't getting better but still the same yet have to increased my medicine. I still feel very sad and empty inside my heart

Great friends became enemies

There is one person I often think off. I knew her since childhood when I was 11 years old. At that time when I was at Spastic Centre (my disabled school). During rest time, she walked and stand by my side (she was 6 years old then). That was when our friendship started.

As smart kids, we were always in the same classroom. Everyday during rest time, she would come and talked to me. As our houses was nearby then, some weekends, her mum would dropped her at my house. We talked and played for few hours before her mum took her home. It was the same for me. My dad would dropped at her house too.

As we grew up, we became best friends' until adults. At the aged of 20, I left Spastic Centre, but she continued her studies to normal college. I was very happy for her. Every night after dinner, she would called me and we talked about an hour.

She would share with me many stories and tell me problems. On my side, I gave her a listening eat we talked and laughed.

I was happy she managed to finished her college life despite all the hurdled she faced. She was able to graduated and I was very proud of her.

When we were adults, we continue to chit-chat every night on  the phone. During festive time, she invited me few other close friends from Spastic Centre to her house for lunch or dinner.

Every weekends, 5-6 of  us closed friends spent time at the shopping mall together having lunch and shopping etc. It was really a great time for us all. After few of us had partners, we still meet at during weekends

As time passed, we had a group chat online. We talked about everything and anything, we had a great time together every night.

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We were such great friends until 2010 when my best friend and myself had a big fight over a personal matter. It was partly my fault. We quarreled a lot then. When we saw each other, we dislike each other. From then on, our friendship broke off.

Sometimes when we met at shopping mall, we don't talked at all. I talked very few word with other of my close friends. We were very cold to each other. As years passed by, each of went our own way. We hardly called each other too.

If I meet them in the shopping mall, I had some fear of talked to them. I would greet them with "hello" and smile to them. Few times, they invited me for lunch and I went. They talked happily, but I I kept quiet. I was afraid to talked to them in case I hurt their feelings again.

It had been 8 years since our friendship broke off. In the beginning we was really mad at them. When years passed, we cooled down, talked a bit when meet. My best friend and myself sadly were not like the friends before.

In our heart, we still miss and think of each other. I can feel that that in my heart, but our friendship couldn't like before again. Now, we still text each other sometimes.

I feel very sad when think of the great friends we were, specially my best friend and myself. The whole friendship was gone because of an argument.

At present, I'm not mad with her anymore. I still miss and think of her.

Mum 80' birthday

On 17 September 2016, mum celebrated her 80' birthday. Janice celebrated for her by having a dinner party at Foong Wei Restaurant. Janice booked a private room and invited relatives and mum's close friends to the dinner.

Janice booked 7-8 tables for all the guests that evening. Janice daughters' were at the restaurant early to decorate to room with birthday wordings and balloons' Guests slowly arrived, but the birthday girl haven't arrived yet!! After Janice knew the guests had arrived. She quickly took mum there. 

Since Janice and her daughters' were busy bringing Julie and myself to the restaurant.We booked a disabled van with hydraulic lift to bring us there and back home. 

I wasn't well during that time with my spasm kept attacking me. When I feel down I never like going out, especially mixing with people because my body limbs included my face kept pulling.I would feel people looked at me. I wasn't keen to attend but since it was mum's big day, I had to go.

When Julie, myself and our maid reached at the restaurant, many relatives had arrived. We started the dinner around 8 something everyone arrived. It was an 8 course dinner. 

I didn't talked to anyone at all I wasn't feel well. I sat beside Janice as she had to feed me. I didn't eat much as I had no appetite. I could see everyone was so happy eating, enjoying and chit-chatting, while I sat at dinner table just watching everyone.

At dinner, it was time for birthday girl to cut the the cake. Janice bought mum a big birthday cake and was beautiful decorated with wording written "HAPPY 80' BIRTHDAY, MUM" We took photos with everyone, group by group. Then sang birthday song and mum cut her cake.

Not many people are able to live till 80 years old, but I'm happy GOD gives my mum life passed 80 and HE gives her the strength, good health and carry on living with always positive thinking. 

                                                      Mum's 80' grant birthday 

Dedicate to my beloved dad - Pt 2

Though my dad loved me so much yet because of his attitude, I wasn't close with him at all. Frankly saying, I dislike him. Why??? Because he always said negative and discouraged me from doing many things. Sometimes he scolded/shouted at me in public. I was very angry inside my heart, but I didn't say anything to him. I cooled down slowly.

When dad discouraged me from doing things, mum was/is a positive person. She always fight for me and I got the things I wanted to do. My dad was a good/caring person, but I never could get along with him. He hurt me with his words.

I can say I'm an ungrateful daughter because he done so much for us yet I don't love my dad.

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In one morning of 2012, we found out his mouth pulled to one side. We thought he had a stroke, but his whole body limbs all could move very well. Janice brought him to Adventist Hospital for check up. He had to stay there for few days for complete check up. He had CT Scan and other tests too.

The doctors told Janice that my dad got a sickness called "Bell's Palsy" The below is a statement about Bell's Palsy. For your clearer understanding.

"Bell's palsy is a condition in which the muscles on one side of your face become weak or paralyzed. It affects only one side of the face at a time, causing it to droop or become stiff on that side. It's caused by some kind of trauma to the seventh cranial nerve. This is also called the “facial nerve"

Janice told us many people got this sickness too, but slowly they got well. Janice brought dad to Chinese massage of his face for few times. Dad wasn't a strong person as he easily gave up.


He was an active person before (going out here and there). After he got Bell's Palsy, he didn't want go anywhere or do anything. He didn't even want to do any exercise. What he wanted was lie in bed. It was really sad to see him like that. Everyone in the family encouraged him to exercise, but he scolded us. He didn't even wanted to watched TV or listen to radio (music)


He didn't want to eat solid food and he didn't want to use his mouth muscle to chew his food. Instead he requested porriage lunch and dinner. 

When we encouraged him to eat solid food for strength, he scolded each of us. So, we left him to eat whatever he liked.He became thinner and weaker each day, as he didn't want to do anything.

My dad suffered Bell's Palsy for 2 years, but he could walked around and did his daily chores. He never disturbed any of us. Other than bell's palsy, he didn't suffered any other sickness except high blood pressure. He got weaker and weaker. He fell down many times too.

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In the evening of 20 June 2014, mum and Julie was by his by side on the bed. They thought dad was resting until our maid went into their room.She touch my dad's leg and it was cool.  She told mum "Sir has passed away". I was in my room, she rushed and said :"called Janice  papa has passed away". 

We were all in shocked and panicked. My heart beat like so fasted while I called Janice. She came up very fast. I went into mum's room and and saw kept called dad to waked up, but there were no respond from him. He was gone.

Our GOD was really good as HE took my dad "home" peacefully in his sleep with much suffering.

That evening was very busy and noisy in my house as called GH doctor to checked and gave a cert to confirm his death. Janice and her husband were specially busy made a lot of calls arranged for people to bring my dad out from our house and arranged church place. All this happen till mid night.

We had wake service and church funeral mass for him. During the 3 days, many relatives and friends' came to his wake and funeral. We were all very busy that 3 days.

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Even though it had 4 years since dad death, I can still remember very clearly the incident happen. Specially those words "called Janice papa had passed away" will be in memory for a long time.

Though I didn't got along well with my dad, yet I missed and think of him often.

I dedicate this post to my beloved dad. Thank you for loving me so much.

We know you are sitting in heaven happily.


I miss you , dad!!!

My dad loved for me

My dad was a great person as he took care of Julie and myself with tender loving care. Despite our severe disabilities, he took good care of us. He always said, IT'S GOD'S WILL.

Despite taking care of us, he would do marketing for us every morning. He loved chit-chatting with the market sellers. All the market sellers knew him very well. They knew as "white-hair man" as my dad's was white hair since he was young.

He also loved/would do grocery shopping for us. He would write down the household things mum wanted and when he was free either in morning or evening, he would mostly go to Tesco Hypermarket and bought the groceries mum wanted. He would also bought the food we loved to eat.

Sometimes, when I fell sick for months, he and mum took take care of me patiently. When I was unable to sleep at night because I had difficulty moving my limbs due to my weakness, they took turns to care of me at night. Despite they had not much sleep, yet they continue their daily chores without any complained. GOD gave them the strength to carry on!

During my working days with few disabled NGOs' for years (work more than 10 years) Everyday without fail dad would drove me to work and drove me back home every evening. Since my office wasn't far from my house, whatever mum cooked for lunch, he would bring lunch for me mostly everyday. Certain days of the week, I went go to GH for physiotheraphy, he would drop me there and picked me up and dropped to work. Everyday he drove to and fro without complained or grumbled.

Sometimes, during holiday or weekends he brought the family out for shopping, mostly to Tesco Hypermarket and few other malls to buy grocery and had lunch there. Even though, it was difficult for Julie and myself to get in and out from the car, yet he and mum took us shopping (outings).

When my dad's close friend and family came out from outstation, we took them all to an apartment stay near to the beach. During that time Janice was a member then for the apartment stay in Batu Ferringi, she booked few days for us to stay them. Though it difficult to packed our things, yet he sacrificed for us. We enjoyed our outing days there

My dad never complained of the tasked he did everyday instead he accepted God's will for him.

To be continue ....

Photos in 2017

The past few years I didn't take any photos, so I didn't post up. It was because Julie and myself was very sick and I hadn't gone out. Though my relatives came out from Australia and had gathering. They took many family photos, I wasn't in group photo. I wasn't well, so I avoid myself. 

Here are some family photos taken end of last year 

                                               In Gurney Plaza 2017

                                     

                                     





                                          In Gurney Paragon Mall - Nov 17'

                                                                           

                                                                                             

   Gurney Paragon Mall -Nov 17'

              

      

                                         Gurney Plaza Mall - Dec 17'

  

                                   

At home with Christmas Carollers from our church group
-Dec 17' 

Spinal surgery

All my entire life, my parents had done all his best to cared for me and Julie. In good and bad times they sacrificed to care for us. They loved us both despite our severe disabilities. We had a difficult time during childhood days as we were very sickly, yet took really good care of us with great love.

When I had my spinal operation in 1990, my dad drove all the way to Kuala Lumpur. That time the journey took 7 hours from Penang to KL. We had to stopped and spent a night in Ipoh (an grandaunt's house) before continue our journey to KL the next morning. Julie was younger then, we brought her along as no one to care for her at home. It wasn't an easy at all during our time in KL. Mum had to care for me while I was in the hospital and dad cared for Julie in an aunt's house. We stayed in an aunt's house for a month during my surgery

During that month, Julie was very sick, she couldn't eat any solid food at all.  She had to be spoon fed as she was unable to swallow. It took up to an hour to feed her. THANK GOD dad patiently fed her milk and egg only everyday.

The surgery went smoothly and mum waited for me till I came out. As I knew, the surgery took up till 7 hours (insert a rot into my spine so I could able to sit up). They inserted 6 bags of blood for me. When I came out from surgery, I was wheeled to ICU and as I was on tubes and lot of needles all over my body limbs. I was in ICU for 2 days. Many doctors came to checked me if I could move my limbs.

Mum cared for me during hard time after my surgery. GOD was really good to us as HE sent a helper to relief mum during daytime. She is my aunt living in KL then,. She  relieved mum during daytime as stayed with me and mum went back to relieve and did the daily chores in our aunt house. She came  back in the evening to cared for me.

After a month in the hospital ward I was discharged, but we made many trips to KL as I needed to had my checkup. I believe we went to and fro for 5 years.

I really THANK GOD for my parents who loved me so much that they sacrificed to bring me for this surgery despite the difficulties. If not for this surgery, I will not be sitting up today writing this post.

Up and down of in my life

Today and the last few days I feel so tired and no mood, even though I didn't do anything much. Certain days my body condition can be very low until I have difficult in moving my body limbs.

I hate this time of the days!!!! I'm an active person, if I feel this low,I really hate it.

My head is weak and soft and my spasm start attacking me. This is my condition throughout my life. I cannot control it, instead to accept it.

This is my UP and DOWN condition in my life. I cannot do anything except to accept and THANK GOD for giving me life!!!!

Loosing one teeth

Since 10 years ago till now, I have been going to Adventist Hospital for dental treatment. My doctor was a lady doctor is Dr. Lai, a very nice and patient person. It wasn't not me alone who was under her, my whole family was under her treatment too. 

Everytime when we go to dental in Adventist Hospital, each treatment I had to pay a lot. I have to pay RM80 per filling. Sometimes, if I had more holes on my tooth I had to pay more. At times, I asked Dr. Lai to reduce the payment and she did.

It's very hard to find a dentist who is so nice, patient and understanding with my condition. She explained to me which hole to fill and other things as well.

Early this month when I went for my dental, she told me she will be leaving Adventist Hospital to another hospital in few months time. I felt so, so sad as she is the only one dentist who treated all these years.

After I left that place, I was really worried which dentist who is patient and understanding to treat me. I started praying that GOD will find a good dentist for me.

GOD ways are NOT our way. HE gave Janice the idea of me going to GH dental as her friend goes there everytime. When thinking about GH dental, I had nightmate because when I was a child studying in Spastic Centre. Many times, I used to the GH dental clinic. The driver will take few of the disabled there for checkups. The doctors were rough with us until I cried during the treatment. From then on, I never go to the clinic anymore.

Though I'm afraid but I give it try as my teeth cracked into half around 10 days ago, but it started to be painful last week. Since it's free treatment.for disabled with welfare card. I have to produce a letter from another specialist to the specialist dental department.

I was afraid when last week 16/5 I went for the first time in GH dental department. I kept praying that I will get a good dentist to do my teeth. Thank GOD HE answered my prayer, HE gave me a nice, good Malay lady dentist. She checked all my teeth, but one bottom tooth  has crack into half. I asked her if could save my tooth. She said it was big hole and she tried to save for me by filling it up for me.

A week later (that was 2 days ago), I started having severe pain on that tooth.Before I went the dental, I was quiet scared on how the doctor will do to my teeth. Thank God yesterday 22/5 she gently injected me and talked to me as I was very tensed. She easily extracted my tooth.

Thank GOD it's was over!!! My fear suddenly left me and everything was done. I felt so relief!!!

Nurse in the house

Everyone in my house are on medication. Mum is taking high blood pressure medicine and put eye drop morning and night to protect her eye nerve. Julie and myself are taking fits and spasm medicine every morning, noon and night. There are a many type of medicine both of us are taking. Julie is taking around 8-9 types and my myself is taking 4-5 types.

Someone has to be in charge of all these medicine in the house  Who is that someone? It's ME, the nurse in the house! Everyday I have to take care of 3 person medicine (including me).

The three of us gets our medicine from GH as it's free for disabled with card and for elderly people too.

For mum, I arranged 5 days medicine in a small box for her to take everyday. I have to remind  her every morning  and night to  take  her medicine . It's may sound bossy, but  I have take care  of her as her memory is not very good this recently years. Thank God, she is happy with me reminding with her medicine

I also have to remind her to put eye drop morning and night. This is to prevent her vision from getting worst. As this recent years, my mum is using one left eye to see things. Her right eye is unable to see  due to carry Julie together with my dad. That time my dad was sickly. Both of them carried Julie and the strain on mum's eye. Days later she complain of her eye pain. Janice took her for eye checkup. the doctors' found out her eye vein burst and blood flowed out internally. Mum didn't panic or complain anything. She accepted it with a good nature. Now, even only with one eye, she doing her daily things as normal. We need to take care of her one eye. 

I take charge of Julie daily medicine too. She take 8-9 types of medicine for her spasm and fits. Everyday I fill up her medicine in a small box. She takes it 4 times a day. Our maid will feed her medicine after each meal.

Everyday, I, myself will fill up my small medicine too.  I have take at the right time, once a while if I delay. My body (nerves) will feel uneasy, so I need to take it before my spasm attack me.

If we don't take our medicine daily, I feel very worried that something will happen to us. So I have to care of them and myself too. Sometimes, if I go for holidays, I will make sure I prepare all medicine for that few days. If I enter hospital ward, Janice take care of Julie medicine, if she wasn't sure, she would ask me.

I don't get bored of filling up medicine everyday or calling mum to take her medicine or put her eye drop. This is duty to take care of them. I'm happy that I can do something to help them.

                                                     Me and Julie's medicine

Online business

I saw so many sellers' selling their products on 11street online. After seeing it, I tried my luck on being a seller too as I need more income. I thought on what to sell and there was a column sell "used" items. Janice had a great idea for me to sell "Preloved items", all in good and new condition.

End of 2015, I started register as a seller in 11street marketplace. It took 2 months for them to approved me as a seller. I was happy when they approved me. Janice spent her time helping me by giving me some of her children and her good clothes to me. She helped to take photos of the clothes, but it didn't turned out well. Weeks later, Janice bought me a mannequin. I asked a relative of mine if she or her friends' had preloved good clothes. Praise the Lord! within weeks she brought 2 big packets' of nice and lovely clothes. From there, I started my online business, beginning of 2016!

It wasn't easy at first, as I don't know how to set up my "shop". I kept emailing asking 11street staff for help and advice. They were great help to me. I had to take picture of clothes, and my mum was a great help to me as she helped to me by measuring the clothes. Janice helped me too by taking pictures for me, as some pants, shorts or skirts had to taken on the floor.

From January to March 2016, I had 1-2 buyers. I felt slightly disappointed and discouraged, but I didn't give up. I kept praying to God to send buyers to my shop. God was good!! HE slowly sent more buyers to my shop to buy my items . I saw the movement of my sales as months passed. Some buyers who bought my item, came back again to buy more items. Some bought more than 1 item, as I stated on my listing can purchase "bundle postage" The more you buy, you save postage.

During that time, one of my cousin was moving house. Janice asked her anything she doesn't want, can give them to me. She said she has a lot she doesn't want. Wow!!! I was so happy. She took photos and show us the boxes of clothes and other things she doesn't want anymore. We were so, so happy!!!

That was the best time she gave us so many boxes of her used clothes, but all in good condition. They were all branded and nice looking too.

How did I sent my items to my buyers?  At the start, Janice posted the items for by going to the post office. Since she was busy with work and also helped me to post my items. I try to find online if there's a way to send parcel. With GOD's help, I found a online company called "Easy Parcel" where they make it easy for buyers and senders to send parcels.

Easy Parcel is a company in charged of courier service. To make buyer and seller easy, they are able to book few courier service to pickup the parcel from our house and send it to the buyers place. Easy and convenient!!! I was so glad I found Easy Parcel online. It make things very easy for me.

In middle of 2016, my cousin recommend me to another online marketplace called Carousell. Later I also sell in MUDAH -another marketplace too. This place a lot of people sell their preloved/new items. I started to sell my items there too. I sell my items in 2-3 marketplace.

More of our relatives and friends knew about my business, they gave good items which they didn't want anything. I even told our church friends and they gave me more items. I thank GOD for that and for sending more buyers to my shop.

I'm happy I manage to sell my items for 3 years now (till today).Though my sales went/goes up and down months after months. I thank GOD even though I was struggling with my spasm and other sickness, I was still able to kept my business going. I thank God for my mum and Janice who helped me with it. I kept learning from other sellers as months and years past. 

Since young I always wanted office/computer work. I dislike working as a seller or concerning business because I wasn't good in counting. I also wasn't good in talking to people (buyers). Some of my disabled friends was/are in business (by selling things outside in the marketplace, but it didn't interest me.

God's plan is NOT my plan. As I kept searching a job and I failed, God gave me a job - online business which I never thought before. 

I thank GOD for leading me towards the right path.

Shopping online

I was always afraid of purchasing things online. Hearing so many stories that people got cheated or their goods never arrived. Some were "fake sellers" as heard from the news/newspaper.

Middle of 2015, I signed in as a buyer in 11street.my online. During that time, there were some promotions in 11street. I tried to buy few items there. After few days my parcels' arrived safely and promptly. I studied about the company and sellers and all the feedback. A company named 11street is in charged of the sellers and buyers' can complain or ask questions to the company.

From then on, I started purchasing the things I wanted from there. The courier man will delivery our parcel to our doorsteps. There are coupons given to buyers. Month after month, more and more stores came into 11street.  As I unable to go shopping or buying my groceries outside, so I bought my things online

I was really happy that I was able do my own shopping online, buy anything I wanted.

Sometimes my mum scolded me for buying things online. She said I could ask Janice to buy for me in the supermarket. I told her and Janice I wanted to be independent by buying my own things online and easy deliver.

Until today I only buy all my things from 11street. I dare not buy on other online sites.

Sickness from 2015 -2018

In 2015 - 2018 me and Julie (my sister) suffered a lot of sickness. I feel sad when I thought about it. I tried my best to stop thinking, but I couldn't. Ok... These was/is our sickness

ME

1.  2016 - The whole year I suffered from severe spasm - whole body very, very stiff and my head became very weak and couldn't lift up. Unable to do anything, couldn't even my computer work. My muscle pulled severely until i'm unable to move my limbs completely. Needed my family members' in help to take my daily things. Very difficult in breathing. Most of the time lye in bed. Very frustrating and  had very terrible time. Couldn't go out anywhere except to hospital only.

-  Enter emergency 3 -4 times that year. The doctors' kept checking blood and everything came out         positive. We kept on searching GH doctor's (neuro) for help. They kept adding the dosage of medicine, yet it didn't help.

-  Enter GH neuro ward (3 days 2 nights) for more tests .. 3 terrible day in the ward. The doctors' only could increase the dosage of my medicine.

In 2017

-   Had blur vision for more than 6 months and bed bugs bites 6 red swollen boils on my body limbs

Julie also suffered a lot from many sickness one after another.

2015-2016

1.  She suffered from severe spasm.  Entered emergency many times even in middle of the night but the doctors' couldn't do anything. She was warded in the neuro ward 3-4 in 2015-2016.

After things got slightly better :   Another sickness came along

2.  She had stomach problem - where she eat anything she vomited. Her stomach couldn't consume anything. Janice (my sister) did her best took her to stomach department. Julie also entered emergency again many times. They did many test and checked her on stomach but nothing could be done. She warded in the stomach ward for 2-3 times because they couldn't detect what was wrong with her. Overall, the doctors' suspected she had gastric because they did all the test. All went well.

Every meal she took she vomit out. Months after months all of us took care of her. She got thinner and thinner, until she left with bones.My poor Julie became so skinny! I thought God was taking her away, but Miracle Do Happen. Her vomit reduce and she could eat again. Praise the Lord !!!. We kept giving her gastric medicine. She became better and stronger again.

2017

3. Few months later -  she had another sickness!

Julie complained that of hard in breathing mostly at night. We didn't know what it was. Until one night, she had very hard breathing. Here we go again to the emergency. The doctors' checked her and found out there are virus in he lungs. So they send her to ward a complete treatment. She stayed there for 3-4 days. I went there everyday to company and talk to her.. Luckily, the virus wasn't that serious. After few days of tests and check. She could go home. The doctor gave her antibiotic to continue at home. Praise God we could bring her home.

2017

4.  We thought everything was well but months later - another sickness occur!

She had blur vision like I had describe in my last story. But her blur vision was worst than mine. Months after months, her blur vision made her unable to see monthly in the evening to night. Throughout the day, she couldn't see much. She went to emergency many times too. The doctors' check and tested her, but came out positive and sent home.

The most severe times was, she couldn't see at all. It was very difficult and frustrating time for her. Because she couldn't see TV/video enjoyed. The last resort was send her emergency and enter the neuro ward together with me.We had a room to ourselves.

In that afternoon, I entered the ward first. Due to a lot of patients, the nurses place me in a individual room. Later that evening, Julie was pushed into the ward. The next morning, Janice (my sister) requested the nurses to place Julie together with me in my room. I could take care of in case of anything she in need. Luckily, the nurses granted our request. In that afternoon, they pushed Julie in my room.

The doctors' did  many tests for us include a very painful test for Julie. They wanted to do it for as well but I couldn't do it as it was "real nightmare" for me. I did  once when was a child.

The test came out negative. The doctors' couldn't anything much for us and we were discharged after a week. It was a terrible staying in the ward, even though we had a room to ourselves.What a relief to go home!

2017 -2018

5. After few months later, another sickness came along !!!

This time Julie had terrible bladder problem. She had difficulty in urinate. In November 2017, one whole day and night she was unable to urinate. She started complain of stomach pain. The whole evening and night screaming in pain. We didn't really know what to do. as she was in terrible pain, until middle of the night and her stomach blotted up. We called Janice and bring her to GH emergency.

The doctor let her wear tube bag so she can urine through it. It was not easy to wear it as every 10 days must go to GH to change the tube. It could get virus if she didn't change tube. A lot of time due to bladder virus, unable to urine due to the tube bag block. Many times she screamed in pain and had to rushed to emergency. Sometimes a month we took her to emergency 3-4 times. 

Over the months,Julie kept complained of stomach pain. Since we don't the cause of Julie's stomach pain, we kept taking her to GH to checked this and that. The general doctors' wrote a letter for Julie to go to Urology department. Within those months, my family were very busy bring her in and out the hospital for tests.

Slowly her stomach pain reduced. Julie wanted to take off the tube bag as she felt very uncomfortable. At last in middle of March 2018, they took her tube bag. She was very relief and happy. It took more than 6 months for Julie recover completely. 

2018

6.  Few months after Julie's bladder problem, another sickness occur!!!

Middle of last month, she got bed bugs bite on on left leg near her knee. It started with a small dot. She felt some slight pain. Within days, it grew bigger and bigger and became a boil.It was very red and painful We brought her to GH clinic where to doctor check her, but didn't give medicine to eat. She kept complaining and screaming of pain. She couldn't sleep throughout the night. My mum who took of her also couldn't sleep. The next morning, we took her emergency as it was weekend.

She spent half day there with our maid. Again, the doctors' tested her and it was all positive. She came  home in the evening with antibiotic and few others' medicine. She took for 5 days of antibiotic, but the boil was still swollen with pulse. Janice took Julie again to GH clinic and the doctor said there's a big bug bite her. The doctor continue give her the same antibiotic and other medicine. After she took for a week, her boil still swollen and didn't even get better.

Because Julie's was in severe pain, Janice took her to the clinic again (the 4th time). This time the doctor x-ray her and wrote a letter for her to go Orthopiedic Department. The clinic doctor says mostly they need to operate her. It's nearly a month since her boil started.

All these sickness happen within these 4 years. It has been a tough and rough time for our family. I really thank GOD a family who go through the suffering with us. Giving them the love, care and specially patient carrying for us.. THANK YOU GOD!!!

             

Bed Bugs Bites - Pt 2.

It was only the beginning of the bed bugs bites!

After a month of taking care my operated womb and it was healed. I was happy that the terrible time was over.... Oh no... God gave me other problems....

The boil started to grew on my others parts of my body limbs. It started with small red dot only my thigh, I felt some slight pain, only in few days it spread bigger and bigger and was very painful. My sister straight took me to GH clinic doctor for checkup. The doctor's who checked and said it was a boil and gave me antibiotic, few other medicines and cream to put on.

There it goes - antibiotic again!!! I had to take it if not my boil couldn't get better.

                                         An example of the starting of the boil


As months passed, one by one of the boil kept grew on my body limbs - from my thigh to the side of my knee to my backside to the side om face. I feel like it never end. I kept going to GH clinic for to see doctor and take medicine. I counted there were altogether 6 boils grew on my body limbs.

                               
                                        An example of the severe boil I got


Between that time, I still had blur vision. It was quite a terrible time for me, couldn't compare with 2016 when I suffered more.

I thank GOD for helping me through the difficult times. HE was the ONE who helped to carry on with life..

Bed bugs bits- minor operation

In 2017, I suffered another problem again. I can say GOD keep testing me and my family, if we can overcome our problems.

It was at the end of April when I started to have bed bugs bites below on lower part of my right stomach. I started having  some  pain. I didn't know what was, until I asked my sister checked it. It was a small boil. I thought it was only a slight thing, but day by day it grew bigger and bigger and it became very painful. 

When I went to see the common doctor in Penang GH, he wrote a note and send me to another specialist department where they check my boil. It's a operation department. When the counter nurse saw the note, she immediately asked me to the doctors' room. My mum accompany me there. When the doctors' need to check my boil, 2-3 doctors' carried me onto a small bed. They checked my boil and discussed about it. Then one of the doctors' told me I had to be warded. I was so shocked as I needed to enter to ward again! What to do as the boil was big and very painful. I knew then, they had to operate my boil. So mum and I waited outside the corridor as he wrote a letter for my admission.

A nurse from the doctors' room gave me the letter. It was lunch time then, mum and I had a light lunch and we rested a while.After resting, we headed to the stomach ward. 

I was so scared on what they will do to me. At that time, I still had my blur vision and had spasm too due to being too fearful.

We went to the stomach ward and gave the nurse in charged the letter. Then the nurse prepared a bed for me and asked me to wait for the doctors' to check me.

While waiting for doctors', the nurses chanced my clothes into hospital dress and check this and that.

When I was lying on the bed, I kept thinking what will they do to me? At last few doctors' came and check my boil to see I needed a major or minor operation. At last they said a local operation which a minor that could be done on my bed, in the ward.

It very hard to share about the operation because it was like a "nightmare" to me, though it was only a minor operation.

After the operation, that was then in the evening when I was able to go home. The doctor gave me antibiotic (I was afraid to take, as it could make me weak) I went home with a very stiff body as I had spasm due to the painful during the operation.

At last I went home, after a horrible and tiring day!!! 

That week, I was asked to go the hospital clinic for washing of my womb. 

At home my family had to wash and clean the womb for me for at least a month

Blur vision

In 2017, God allowed another suffering to attacked me.

That was in middle of March, around 12pm my vision became blur and shakey. I couldn't see anything for few hours until after my rest my vision came back again.

I thought it lasted only a day. Yet the next day was the same around same time 12pm. my vision became blur and couldn't see anything again. It went on and on for weeks and months. Not only my vision disturbed me, my head spin too and vomited too. I was really scared what was wrong with me 

At the same time, Julie also have the same vision problem as well. My family asked our neurologies whether it was due to out medication. But they said it was nothing concern with it. 

During that few months, my cousins and families from Australia came out to Penang for holidays. They spent time with us. I couldn't have a good time with them. My cousins organised a potluck lunch gathering. What happen was, when I see a lot of people, not only my vision was blur, shakey and the most terrible thing was my head was spinning terribly.

Luckily, our lunch gathering was at my apartment lobby hall, I could easily leave the gathering and go back to rest. My head was so spinning and dizzy. It happened also when my family went shopping few times. I couldn't enjoyed at all as I couldn't see and my head was spinning. I had to close my eyes

Me and Julie had the same vision problem the same time. She was more serious, not only vision blur, but in that few months she couldn't see at all.  She went into emergency few times, but the doctors couldn't find out what wrong. The last solution Julie and myself was admitted in neuro ward Penang GH for a week for some tests. 

This government hospital give disabled with welfare card.free treatment and admission in the ward. 

Julie and I spent an week of agony there with so many tests done on us. 

I find it very hard to share about that week in the ward. It's a "nightmare". They checked our brain (ct scan, eye tests and many more). What I could say we had an agony of the time there . In the end, all the tests came out positive, but they couldn't find out what was wrong with us. So we were discharged.

What a happy feeling to come home!!! Our vision slowly got better in time to come. I suffered vision problem around 6 months. It was really a terrible time for me

Thank God for helping us through this difficult time..

Three days of Agony

In 2016, I seek my neurologies in General Hospital Penang for help, if they could increase my medication. Even though they increased the dosage my medicine, yet my spasm was still so severe.

I  adjourned to the emergency few times in GH to check what was wrong with me. What I suffered was, every time I went, I  had blood test and it was very painful. The doctors' checked my blood and it came out good. So they sent me home.

Yet my spasm was still very severe, so the head of neurology knows my case very well. She admitted me to the ward immediately . I stayed there 3 days. It was an hell of the time I spent my days there as no one was there to helped me. My mum and sister came in the morning, lunch and dinner time to help.

In the morning, when the nurses cleaned all the patients, they bath them on the bed. As there were many patients' to bath for. As I was the last patient they bath for. Do you know how they bath me?

They threw the backet of water on me and changed my pampers. That was it!!! Wow!!! I felt like an animal, no human being.

The worst thing was, no one helped to urinate. I had to be on the pampers from evening until the next morning. I wet on the pampers many times and I asked the nurses to helped changed, but they didn't bother about me. The bed was all wet. I had to sleep the whole two nights on the wet and smelly bed. 

It wasn't me alone like that, other patients' also told me that they were all wet. But none of the nurses changed for them too. We had to wait till next morning for other nurses to "bath" us.

The doctors' gave me new medication and on the third day, they said I could be discharged. Praise and thank God I could go home!!! My agony was OVER!!!!

The doctors' didn't know that when I lied down, I had less spasm, but only when I sit up my severe spasm attacked me a lot. They increased my medication and gave me other new medication too. The new medication didn't suit me and I didn't take the new medicine after all I came home.

Anyhow, I was so happy to come home from the so called "prison" I will always remember this "agony" I had gone through

My computer - my best friend

I thank GOD for giving me the knowledge to learn computer and to access to internet. Though the years, I have learnt a lot of things online. Many times when I was stuck not knowing how to go on, I asked my good friend (disabled too) on how to managed. He taught me a lot "new things. Thank God for this friend of mine who is every willing to help me.

From then on, I kept learning and searching new things online. I didn't give up on learning by myself

Many times, when my computer was spoiled or the internet line, couldn't get through. I got very frustrated as I didn't know to do.

My computer is my "best friend". I can say that for sure.

2016 - A very tough year - Part 2

Hi I'm back!!! Welcome a new year 2018.... God give me another year of life !!!!

I wanted to continue from previous my story about my severe spasm, but I completely don't have mood to write. Thinking back of my suffering of my severe spasm, I really feel scare. That anytime it can come back and attack me again.

I truly suffered a lot from my severe spasm in 2016.  My spasm became more and more severe as months pass, until my whole body, limbs, face were so stiffed from morning till night. It started with my left face keep pulling, my head keep falling down (became weak) and my arms and legs keep pulling me and became very, very stiffed.

No one can understand how I felt during that time. I felt very angry, frustrated, sad and etc..etc... I was very miserable because I was always very active person, but I became a person who couldn't do anything at all. I couldn't even use my computer to work as couldn't type on the keyboard. My hand/fingers couldn't control the keys and my head kept falling down.

What I could do was lie down on my bed (almost the whole day) What I could described was I HAD A VERY TERRIBLE TIME. I had difficulty in breathing as there are no air going through the brain. Also very difficult in moving my limbs.

My family members who handle me had a though time too. When my body/limbs were stiffed, it was very heavy to lift/carry me. I thank GOD for my family were patient, understanding and caring for me during my difficult time.

As I lied in bed, couldn't do anything, what I did was kept praying and calling GOD for help and heal me again...